


Wind Came Along

by Jemisard



Category: Fables (Willingham) - All Media Types, The Wolf Among Us
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 23:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5183750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemisard/pseuds/Jemisard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the rules that need enforcing are small but important for maintaining mundy life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wind Came Along

"Oh. Sheriff Wolf... What, can I do for you?"

Bigby stared at Finnegan. Specifically, he stared at Finnegan's beard, an obnoxious sprout of growth on his chin that stuck out inches from his face itself. "Finnegan. We've been over this."

"There's nothing suspicious about a beard!" Finnegan's hands came up and he started walking backward into his apartment. Bigby followed him, slamming the door shut with a hard shove. "They're normal!"

"Human beards are normal. Bluebeard's beard is normal. Even Flycatcher's beard, while strongly resembling your own, is normal. Your beard is not normal. You're not to grow it, you know that. Muttonchops, moustache, you can do that. You are not-"

Finnegan tried to run. 

Bigby sighed and tripped him up with a well placed foot, kicking him to roll him onto his back and planting said foot on his chest. "You are not meant to have _that_ on your chin." He crouched down, grabbing the beard in one hand.

Finnegan squirmed and tried to move away but Bigby kept hold. "Please, Sheriff..."

"Uh-uh." Bigby straddled Finnegan's chest, tapping out a cigarette and drawing it free with his lips. He settled his weight onto his prisoner as he lit up, taking a deep breath and puffing the smoke out with a little more force than humanly possible. "Now, what am I to do with you?"

"L-let me go?"

"Really? It's not like you have to buy a fucking glamour, Finnegan, or keep your cool lest you turn your husband into a fucking monster. You have to _shave_ your fucking chin, which shouldn't be too fucking difficult for you to manage when even I can do it on a semi-regular basis."

"I'll shave it, I promise, as soon as you get off me, I'll go and shave it," Finnegan babbled.

"Really? Because I think last time, you swore it wouldn't happen again. And the time before that. And I'm fucking sick of chasing this shit up." He took another drag on his cigarette and leaned in close, blowing smoke across Finnegan's face, into his beard.

The hairs quivered and shrank back a little. Finnegan grabbed his beard. "Bigby, please, you know I hate that!"

"And yet, you grow a beard." Bigby finished the cigarette with a last drag and flicked the butt towards the kitchen. bringing his hand to grip Finnegan's throat.

Finnegan watched the motion, looking back to Bigby's mouth with wide eyed fear. "Bigby, for fuck's sake, please-"

Bigby growled slightly and took a deep breath. He couldn't get half the force he'd like to in this skin, but he could get enough to make it point.

He blew out a hard stream of wind. Finnegan's beard writhed and withdrew nearly half the length while Finnegan screamed and writhed under Bigby's weight.

He stopped. "Shave. Don't make me come back and finish the job, Mickey." He patted Finnegan's face and got off of him. "I'll be back in a fortnight to check."

"I fucking hate you, Bigby," Finnegan gasped out.

Bigby let himself out with a low chuckle.


End file.
